the big one

Imagine, if you will, swimming in the ocean for the first time. Sure in your childhood, you may have flirted with the surf; ebbing and flowing along the beach, playfully smacking at your ankles. Maybe you even splashed in the waves a bit, going out just far enough that your feet still felt the comfort of terra firma beneath them. This experience i liken to the speech classes and small presentations and menial research papers i have written in high school and early college. It was nerve-wracking but not anywhere close to actually swimming in the deep. I know that eventually i will need to leave the safety of the familiar, i will need to venture into the deep, i will be a teacher, a true bonafide educator. Still fearful, reading up on rip tides and sharks, trying to believe inspirational stories of the joy that is waiting; i similarly read of horrid statistics and dooming financial woes, and tried to cling to the reports of teachers who not only taught information, but inspired. What i value most from this class was the way our professor led us as a group into the deep, gently encouraged us to follow her example and then, in finding our confidence, she encouraged us to venture off to find our own techniques. Furthermore, the bonds within this class made the fears diminish and, with all the splashing and carrying-on, i soon forgot that this experience once seemed daunting.
                                                           I've learned from this class that there are many ways to teach: lit circles, stations, socratic discussions, etc. I've seen how some styles work better than others, but none are the best. There is no one way to teach, infact exceptional teaching requires a varied program. The approach you take should be based on what you are hoping to accomplish and what your students respond to, and it will always be a work in progress. Teaching will involve some bad classes and failed attempts, it's simply a matter of recovering. It requires the understanding that there is no flawless plan, but also the realization that a missed mark does not doom a semester.
          This class has also helped me develope a more demensional view of the classroom; that is, being able to see it both from the eyes of teacher and student. i have seen my lesson plan crumble and have been forced to chew on key points i never got to mention. i have felt the difference of being discussion leader and of being a distraction. i have enjoyed assignments i never thought i would, and have felt the misery of poor instructions.
My job is to teach my requirements and have students pass their standardized tests. My passion and goal is to reach the minds of my students, to envoke their hearts, to develope their ability to understand others and to express themselves. I cannot think of a better way to do this then through English/Literature. I feel that reading is only dull when the material is unrelateable. i feel that reading is only difficult if you lack drive. i feel that the life of a teacher is to inspire; i know i have the compassion and desire; what i lacked was the ability. This ability has been strengthened through this class by the encouragement to criticly-think, to speak up, to realize the importance of self, and to have the daring to take a risk.
 i am still honestly anxious about the real deal, but i no longer dread, i no longer doubt that this was the right choice. this class has pinned me with a merit badge, handed me a bag of tricks, and sent me off with an incredible support-group of peers. thank you, everyone!